Thursday, December 27, 2012

To Quiet The Chatter In My Head

I know in other blogs I have told you why I strive to live a simple sustainable life.  One is to honor my ancestors.  Another is because I truly believe it is the right way to live, for ourselves and for the earth. But there is another reason....a big reason. 
The smell of rich soil or strawberry jam cooking, the colors of the flowers and real food,  the sound of birds singing and jars pinging, the feel of the gentle breeze and bare feet on a bed of thyme ....these are the things that stop the chatter. The chatter of  the world around me and the chatter in my own head.  For when I am living that simple sustainable life, it all stops, that crazy noisy, whirling out of control, that chatter that keeps me awake at night, that chatter that makes me afraid and angry at the same time.  The world suddenly becomes solid and real to me.  It is becomes my sanctuary.  To need so have so no longer see the world around me....that is when the chatter ...the thousand fragmented thoughts whirl around in my head like a tornado....until they hit that nerve that says you are not good enough, you are not smart enough, no one loves you, you have no friends, and blah and blah an blah.  You all know those thoughts.  Those little thoughts we picked up along the way.  But when I sit and dig in the earth...when I watch a lady bug trying to maneuver it's way out of a little hole ...when I watch the humming birds come and splash in the fountain and notice how beautiful their colors are...when I connect with who I am..when I connect with the earth...that chatter both of an angry and afraid world and mind...they not longer exist.  When I rely on myself to grow and can my own food.  When I create things for my home with my own hands, and don't just go out and buy "stuff"..that is when I am at peace.  So it is the right thing for me.  I have to balance that with the world I live in, and sometimes that is not easy.  I won't give up tho...because when you find the quiet and the peace and  the feeling that what you are doing is right with everything in your heart, you just don't give up the fight.
I guess this blog was brought on by reflections for a new year, my private writings regarding those reflections, but I also think it was something I needed to share.  That all of us who live the green, the sustainable, the simple, the prepper, the suburban farmer, the urban, the just plain farmer   etc. etc. etc.....whatever you want to call us...we all have different reasons "why"  but at the same time similar reasons .To make some sense of the world we live in have some control in our choices.... to save the earth...whatever the reasons..they are all valid.